I should go out more often...
Hahaha... It seems like I don't have the vitality to laugh that much at this moment now that everything's hanging on a balance. A lot of things have been happening lately and I'm not noticing the difference of the past and the present unless I neglect it for a little while. Like my title says, I should go out more often. I'm so in touch with consistency that I didn't notice the difference between to entities at a time. Ouch for me... T.T
I don't know why do I pour out everything at a time. Isn't it stupid? Haha. Honestly, I can't say it to other people (but I am right now... XP) that I feel like I'm not going to stay here on Earth for a very long time. I don't know. Who knows when? Malay mo, bukas na pala? I've been giving a thought of it lately. I have been neglecting the fact that there is death. I'm scared of it, heck, I'm so freaking terrified about its existence. Now, I'm getting a hang of it. Accepting facts, painful yet effective.
Last Saturday, I joined an essay writing contest and the topic was "Developing A Culture of Love". Developing love on Earth? Di ba meron na? Di lang natin nakikita... Di MO lang nakikita... Di mo lang nararamdaman... Sa paningin at damdamin ng tao, dapat may gawin pang kababalaghan ang pag-ibig para mapatunayan na mayroon nito. Masyado ng nawalan ng tiwala ang tao sa balakid na nagagawa ng kasamaan sa ating kaisipan ng pag-ibig. As for me, I'm poruing it out right now and I have explained the reason a while ago.
Why am I doing this? Before, I was asking for a return but I guess I want to surrender myself to God. I don't know when but while I'm stilll here, I'll do my best to be something I never thought I have within me. Thanks to those people who have stayed there through thick and thin... Or maybe I don't want them to be away because I have given something to them already? I have no idea now... For me, my vow still stands... It is useless to give again for I have nothing to give anymore... Ang tanga ko... But I guess life seems to be a something else that I don't see and I want to take a peek on that... I'm still yearning for a love from above...
Oh well, enough litany. I'll be changing my layout during the break and maybe I'll make one for someone... Sino kaya? Errr... Christmas gift ba ito? Nah... I'll simply create one...
Pahabol... darn, I should read again, I'm scarce at words already... I forgot a lot of words that I can use. I feel like an empty can... Writer without the right words to depict her emotions and thoughts... I've got to think again...
~ja! ^_^
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Plugs: Joemz || Atom || Inez || Nico || Jedd ||
Kenneth || Elle || Ianne ||
Rio || Nayomi || Meira ||
Ira || Cid || Lysa ||
Andrea || Ann || Aiar ||
Camille || Holly ||
Alyssa || Cagalli ||
Eloise || Jais || Vaynard ||
Ran || XYRYX || Mark ||
Ranamae || Chels || Emma ||
Mackii || Memesh || Marie ||
Katrin || Jameson
by
LekLek on 10.08.2006 @
22:06
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